Craziest shit your girl has accused you of, when you actually didn't do it.

[God]

- Fucking her sister. Don't know where she got that, although I kind of wish I actually did it. I figured my girl was crazy and dumped her within a week. She still emails to "check up" on me.

 

[Relic]

lol, sleeping with my "baby mama" after returning home from dropping my daughter off late at night because we had went to see The Lion King play. OMG I thought she was literally gonna stab me or some shit. I was baffled. I fuckin HATE my kids mom, so it was a conundrum.
Hell I tell my girl Im fuckin her sister even though Im not all the time! lol

 

[Cleverwon]

Great thread idea!

- Flirting with her best friend
- Flirting with females on myspace
- Cheating with girls on myspace
- Looking at porn with my cousin and switching the screen when she walked by. Lmao, i was so tempted to tell my cousin. But i dont want him thinking bad about her.


Hmmm.... I see a common factor here. lmao.

 

[FuzE]

Basically, being involved or wanting to be involved with any female friend, aquaintance, or co-worker i've ever come into contact with.

 

[Cleverwon]

Females are truly jealous creatures that do not think with/understand logic. But we love em.

 

[Ash Holmz]

Basically, being involved or wanting to be involved with any female friend, aquaintance, or co-worker i've ever come into contact with.

basically lol .. my girl is ultra-jealous even tho she tries to act like she aint. ..

on a related note, dont u hate when girls ask u dumb questions like "Do u think Beyonce is hot? " or even worse "Do u think my firend (the bangin one with the phat booty) is hot?" its a fuckin lose lose question. no matter what u say u cant avoid her overreacting to ur answer.

 

[Cleverwon]

^^^^^^WORD UP.

And then they throw shit back at you at random. Like shit from a long time ago you been forgot. "Oh look, theres Beyonce, you want her right?"

Lmao. Just have to play their game right back at em. Girls are always logging fuel for future arguements, even when yall are getting along great. Theyre emotional, insecure beings. And they wonder why men dominate everything. Cuz we are rational.

I can tolerate small issues, every female has some baggage. As long as theyre not in the psycho zone, we good.

 

[Formant024]

lol, on trying to catch me checking babes on vids or anything, i just start jabbering about all the stuff i see except the babes...they'll quit it in the end hehehehe

 

[God]

dont u hate when girls ask u dumb questions like "Do u think Beyonce is hot? " or even worse "Do u think my firend (the bangin one with the phat booty) is hot?" its a fuckin lose lose question. no matter what u say u cant avoid her overreacting to ur answer.

Say: "yeah, she's hot -- or at least I'd fuck her. Boo (honey, pumpkin, whatever) -- maybe we should consider a three-way with her?"

That pisses them off, but also shows how stupid her question is. The downside, is if she is manipulative, she can use that to create an argument in order to exercise guilt and "relationship power" over you. Expect:

- "why do you say such hurtful things, you don't care about me?"
- "why did you say that, you don't care about me?"
(any variation of the above)

The safe answer is: "Yeah, she's fucking bangin'! But -- (keep from chuckling) NOT AS HOT AS YOU, BABY."

She'll be like: "awww. You really don't mean that."

God damn relationships are like chess matches.

 

[FuzE]

basically lol .. my girl is ultra-jealous even tho she tries to act like she aint. ..

on a related note, dont u hate when girls ask u dumb questions like "Do u think Beyonce is hot? " or even worse "Do u think my firend (the bangin one with the phat booty) is hot?" its a fuckin lose lose question. no matter what u say u cant avoid her overreacting to ur answer.

yep, or then you have the security questions like: you want me to have bigger titties? or, you want my butt to look like that dont you...?

 

[Cleverwon]

^ yep. and they will always say your lying when you say your wifey is hotter than beyonce. but the trick is to STICK TO YOUR STORY!!! theyll stop asking after awhile. luckily my fiancee is dope as hell so its easy to say that shit. sux when ur dating a hog and you try to lie. lmao.

 

[Ash Holmz]

^ yep. and they will always say your lying when you say your wifey is hotter than beyonce. but the trick is to STICK TO YOUR STORY!!! theyll stop asking after awhile. luckily my fiancee is dope as hell so its easy to say that shit. sux when ur dating a hog and you try to lie. lmao.

yeah i learned that trick too lol .... def stick to the script.. but then she ask questions like "if u could fuc one other girl besides me, who would it be? " ... thats a tough one... so i just broke down and told her i would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse. there was no way around it.

 

[Cleverwon]

yeah i learned that trick too lol .... def stick to the script.. but then she ask questions like "if u could fuc one other girl besides me, who would it be? " ... thats a tough one... so i just broke down and told her i would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse. there was no way around it.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Yo i woulda never answered that one Ash, your crazy!!!!


Side Note: I too would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse.

 

[DJ Excellence]

-Wanting to cheat on her for watching adult movies. (lol)
-Trying to separate her from her fam (lol , wouldn't be a bad thing tho.)

 

[Relic]

I have eliminated much of this by everytime my girl calls me at work and asks what Im doing I tell her Im on the down stroke but whats up though.
That absolute absurdity of the things I tell her Im doing or the girls Im doing has her laughing and if I really were now I wouldnt be lying.
The down side though is they do log shit for future fights and that shit can play into insecurity..

 

[God]

yeah i learned that trick too lol .... def stick to the script.. but then she ask questions like "if u could fuc one other girl besides me, who would it be? " ... thats a tough one... so i just broke down and told her i would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse. there was no way around it.

^ yep. and they will always say your lying when you say your wifey is hotter than beyonce. but the trick is to STICK TO YOUR STORY!!! theyll stop asking after awhile. luckily my fiancee is dope as hell so its easy to say that shit. sux when ur dating a hog and you try to lie. lmao.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Yo i woulda never answered that one Ash, your crazy!!!!


Side Note: I too would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse.

- Always stick to the script. If you deviate from the script -- she can accuse you at any time thereafter of lying to her.

- Nice fucking response Ash! I like it. Way to turn the tables on her.

 

[DJ Excellence]

I told mine, not to call when I'm at work. So far she's respecting my wish.

I have eliminated much of this by everytime my girl calls me at work and asks what Im doing I tell her Im on the down stroke but whats up though.
That absolute absurdity of the things I tell her Im doing or the girls Im doing has her laughing and if I really were now I wouldnt be lying.
The down side though is they do log shit for future fights and that shit can play into insecurity..

 

[LDB]

so i just broke down and told her i would let shakira ride me like a mechanical horse. there was no way around it.

THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M LETTING A FINE THANG LIKE SHAKIRA RIDE! I HAVE TO BE IN TOTAL CONTROL OF THAT SITUATION SO I CAN "PUNISH HER". I'm trying to fold her up like a lawn chair, break something! NOW A MEDIOCRE TRICK CAN RIDE CAUSE IT'S REALLY NOTHING, JUST SOMETHING TO DO...LMAO

 

[Fury]

Great thread idea!

- Flirting with her best friend
- Flirting with females on myspace
- Cheating with girls on myspace
- Looking at porn with my cousin and switching the screen when she walked by. Lmao, i was so tempted to tell my cousin. But i dont want him thinking bad about her.


Hmmm.... I see a common factor here. lmao.

u were accused of watching porn wit rob lmaoooo...yo ur bitch ass really did prolly and switched the screen before she can notice lol...

 

[2GooD Productions]

I couldnt even go shopping with my ex, without being accused of eyeing up all the girls. I couldnt go out without being accused of something.
And in the end, the crazy bitch cheated on me.