What was your worst sexual encounter?

[dacalion]

Try not to get too graphic...lol. But this happened to me back in the day (before i tied the knot). I went out to a club, got pissy drunk and needed to pop one. Well ofcourse, after all the booze the A-game was shot, it was near the end of the night and this ugly chic with a smokin body was diggin on me.

Considering the circumstances, this chic had to go down...lol. After I hit, and recovered the next mornin, I remember waking up and looking at this chic thinking what have i just done? This chic was butt ass ugly, but then she woke up and went to bathroom and I realized why i hit, the body was bang'n.

Then I felt somewhat justified and my boys agreed...lol. That was kinda jacked up but booze will make a 1 look like a 10.

dac

 

[Kontents]

LMAO!!!!!!! Dac!!!!! you dirty dawg you

 

[dacalion]

C'mon now, I know that I'm not the only one thats knocked down an ugly chic...lol. I may be the only one that will admit it but still...hahahaha

dac

 

[Kontents]

Honestly I cant say that I have knocked down an ugly check. True story, but I have witnessed my friends not give a fuck that the girl they were about to fuck was a town slut that has sex with dogs. True story.

 

[dacalion]

IIIIoooowwwwwcccchhh! Now I dont feel bad....LMAO

=)

 

[DJ Xsinna]

the one where I was told that I was going to be a father (in my past). That was the worst.

 

[Ash Holmz]

i fucked two fat chicks in my life... the first one had a really pretty face .. and she was all over me... I was drunk, single, and in college and never fucked a fat chick before so I was like "what the hell, you only live once" (lmao) and did it. And it was great! lol .... she gave the best brain i ever got and the sex was the shit! lmao ... then like a year later on new years eve, of all nights, im at this club with my boy. We get super pissy drunk and these two chicks are all on our shit.... one was older, like she was maybe very high twenties maybe even like thirty on the dot. (we were like 21 at time). the other was def chunky and ill give her a semi-cute rating in the face dept. Im horny and mad drunk and slow... they like literally jumped us on the dance floor, grinded up on us for like a half a song then dragged us out of the club into a cab to their house lmao! I dont even recall sayin more than a sentence to these girls. The chunky one (lol!) throws me into her bed and proceeds to "get hers" . Im drunk as shit and cant even deny that im lovin every minute of this! Right in the middle of sex, i hear this huge "*bang!*" sound like someone or something was slammed against the wall. It was coming from the other room, where my boy and the older chick were doing whatver they were doing. Then like five minutes later the older chick is bangin on the door of the room that im in saying " Im taking these guys home right now!" im like wtf? ... anyways the chick, as she is riding me and moaning and shit is like "No ur not, u can take him home but we stayin here" .... we finished fucking and i feel asleep .... she drove me back to the crib the next day.. ... i called my boy and asked him what happened... he said he was drunk and coulnt get it up ... he said she was so pissed she push him against the wall lol... then he tried again to get it up and actually succeeded but then he threw up in her bed right before he was about to start hittin it. LMAO . so she kicked him out lol

 

[dacalion]

Whoa, that had to have stung a bit. Been there and done that too...very scary feeling when youre young and not ready for kids. i feel ya X...

HAHAHAHA! Thats too crazy Ash, funny as heyell.

dac

 

[Chrono]

hahah it was a mistake... mistakes like these shown me what I really wanted in life

 

[Kontents]

i fucked two fat chicks in my life... the first one had a really pretty face .. and she was all over me... I was drunk, single, and in college and never fucked a fat chick before so I was like "what the hell, you only live once" (lmao) and did it. And it was great! lol .... she gave the best brain i ever got and the sex was the shit! lmao ... then like a year later on new years eve, of all nights, im at this club with my boy. We get super pissy drunk and these two chicks are all on our shit.... one was older, like she was maybe very high twenties maybe even like thirty on the dot. (we were like 21 at time). the other was def chunky and ill give her a semi-cute rating in the face dept. Im horny and mad drunk and slow... they like literally jumped us on the dance floor, grinded up on us for like a half a song then dragged us out of the club into a cab to their house lmao! I dont even recall sayin more than a sentence to these girls. The chunky one (lol!) throws me into her bed and proceeds to "get hers" . Im drunk as shit and cant even deny that im lovin every minute of this! Right in the middle of sex, i hear this huge "*bang!*" sound like someone or something was slammed against the wall. It was coming from the other room, where my boy and the older chick were doing whatver they were doing. Then like five minutes later the older chick is bangin on the door of the room that im in saying " Im taking these guys home right now!" im like wtf? ... anyways the chick, as she is riding me and moaning and shit is like "No ur not, u can take him home but we stayin here" .... we finished fucking and i feel asleep .... she drove me back to the crib the next day.. ... i called my boy and asked him what happened... he said he was drunk and coulnt get it up ... he said she was so pissed she push him against the wall lol... then he tried again to get it up and actually succeeded but then he threw up in her bed right before he was about to start hittin it. LMAO . so she kicked him out lol

LMAO!!!! thats a funny fuckin story. Thank you for sharing that one. lol

 

[J Rilla]

this freaky lil asian girl that i wanted to bone finally gave me a chance to hit and I busted putting the condom on.......very disheartening

 

[dacalion]

J, LMAO, did you say you busted putting the condom on or did you mean the condom busted while putting it on? HAHAHAHAHA

 

[Chrono]

Hahaha Wow

 

[Kontents]

J, LMAO, did you say you busted putting the condom on or did you mean the condom busted while putting it on? HAHAHAHAHA

this freaky lil asian girl that i wanted to bone finally gave me a chance to hit and a busted putting the condom on.......very disheartening

Hahaha Wow

Dude busted before he got to tap it. Musta been a fine lil asian dime to such a thing lol..LMAO!!!


Yo Dac, props for making this thread. Some funny shit so far.

Fade where you at?? you aint perfect.

 

[J Rilla]

J, LMAO, did you say you busted putting the condom on or did you mean the condom busted while putting it on? HAHAHAHAHA

the former unfortunately ....i wuld of been straight if it was just the condom that became inadequate

 

[dj360_iNfInItE1]

Good stories, ya'll. Had me laughin. My worst is this one fine ass sistah. I had been wanting her for a looooong ass time and she never used to pay me any attention. Well, one night at the club she was finally throwin me some rhythm. So, we chatted it up and decided to kick it at my crib the next day. Well, Saturday afternoon she pops over to the crib and I was like "Hell yeah! I'm gonna beat it up!" LOL! Anyway, we started kissing and shit on the couch and she suggested we hit the bedroom. I was like fo sho, let's do this. Man, we got in the room and oh shit she took off her pants and I was like.....do I smell something? Naw, her panties are still on. Keep in mind I was living in Omaha at the time and they have problems with the old stockyards that create a bad smell in the summer so I didn't pay it no mind at first. Then I was like hold up....that smells like nasty pussy. I knelt down to get closer and I almost passed the fuck out. Now remember, this chick is fine as hell. I was like "You smell that?" She was like "Smell what?" I replied, "That's your pussy. Are you kidding?" She then of course got upset but I was like sorry, I ain't hittin' no nasty smelling cooch. I mean, deeeezam! Her pussy smelled like hot pig shit mixed with dirty draws and moldy hot sauce on a 100 degree day. No joke niggaz! I kicked her out and she hasn't talked to me since. That shit was crazy. That's my worst. I couldn't believe it. It was like finally getting to get with Halle Berry just to find out she is a dirty bitch. Very disappointing. LOL!

 

[Kontents]

I was like "You smell that?" She was like "Smell what?" I replied, "That's your pussy. Her pussy smelled like hot pig shit mixed with dirty draws and moldy hot sauce on a 100 degree day.

Holy Shit!!!! LOL my stomache hurts from laughing so hard. thats a funny fuckn story man. lol.

 

[dj360_iNfInItE1]

^^^Yeah, it's true to man. You shoulda seen this bitch. She was gorgeous. Tragic, truly tragic.

 

[Low G]

This thread's funny as hell...

Around these parts they call bangin fat/ugly bitches dragon slaying.

 

[slik da relic]

Good stories, ya'll. Had me laughin. My worst is this one fine ass sistah. I had been wanting her for a looooong ass time and she never used to pay me any attention. Well, one night at the club she was finally throwin me some rhythm. So, we chatted it up and decided to kick it at my crib the next day. Well, Saturday afternoon she pops over to the crib and I was like "Hell yeah! I'm gonna beat it up!" LOL! Anyway, we started kissing and shit on the couch and she suggested we hit the bedroom. I was like fo sho, let's do this. Man, we got in the room and oh shit she took off her pants and I was like.....do I smell something? Naw, her panties are still on. Keep in mind I was living in Omaha at the time and they have problems with the old stockyards that create a bad smell in the summer so I didn't pay it no mind at first. Then I was like hold up....that smells like nasty pussy. I knelt down to get closer and I almost passed the fuck out. Now remember, this chick is fine as hell. I was like "You smell that?" She was like "Smell what?" I replied, "That's your pussy. Are you kidding?" She then of course got upset but I was like sorry, I ain't hittin' no nasty smelling cooch. I mean, deeeezam! Her pussy smelled like hot pig shit mixed with dirty draws and moldy hot sauce on a 100 degree day. No joke niggaz! I kicked her out and she hasn't talked to me since. That shit was crazy. That's my worst. I couldn't believe it. It was like finally getting to get with Halle Berry just to find out she is a dirty bitch. Very disappointing. LOL!

mines is similar to this, except she asked me to come to HER crib... it was like 12am and i had to be to work at 4 and she said bring some condoms... after about 30 min she wanted to get busy, but yo, it was smellin like bad tuna, no joke... this is no lie, i went in the bathroom took out my condom pack, and bit tiny holes through that shit... came back out and was like "yo these condoms are old, they got a few holes in them" lol... she was pissed at me, but i couldnt diss her... like BIG said, im not touchin it if it smells like sanitation...lol... 1st time i got to work on time...lol

da relic