suggestions for a final "fuck you" for a beloved X

orpheus

Cook Classics
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 39
soooooooo... I've never really given this girl, who had me ALL fucked up in the head for about a year, any sort of FUCK YOU. I've always thought to highly of her and all the great times we've had, but as of our last conversation, and some threats on her of revealing some secrets that may compromise my friendships with friends (for various reasons, yes, some are shady), i feel like she needs a good punch in th mouf. but seeing how i'm a gentleman and couldn't actually break her goddamn nose, tho she reeeeally deserves it, i feel like i gotta manifest this "i hate you bitch" in some hilarious action for my personal benefit. we go to school together and ill see her all next year. any suggestions? don't be shy fellas!

oh, i'm not usually like this, i'm just havin a fucked up day...bitches man (no offense all you beautiful ladies out there. you're not ALL crazy)
 

Fade

The Beat Strangler
Administrator
illest o.g.
Leave an open can of tuna and an open carton of milk in her locker next year. That should piss her off. (And the people with lockers next to her!)
 

Guevara

BETTER THAN YESTERDAY
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 34
....oR YoU CAN HiRE A HiTMAN, oR JUST GET CLASSiC To PUNCH HER iN THE MoUTH LiKE HiS SiGNATURE SAYS.
ALTHoUGH FUCKiN oNE oF HER FRiENDS iS A CoOL iDEA, CHANCES ARE if YoU HATE HER, THEN YoU DonT LiKE HER DAMN FRiENDS EiTHER CUZ THEYRE ALL ASSHoLES ToO.BELiEVE ME i HAVE FiRSTHAND EX-PERiENCE.BUT iF You TRYiN To REALLY MAKE SHoRTY FEEL iT, iGNoRE HER BiTCH ASS, SHE WoNT BE ABLE To STAND iT, i MEAN Go oUT oF YoUR WAY To NoT SEE SHoRTY oR SAY ANYTHiNG To HER, it WoULD BE EASiER iF You AinT Go To THE SAME SCHoOL, BUT THAT CAN EVEN WorK oUT FoR YoU iF EVERYTHinGS CoOL WiT EVERYBoDY ELSE AND YoU JUST REGULAR WiT HER.
YoU SHoULD GivE HER Hi'S AND BYE'S BUT DonT HAVE ANY EXTENDED ConVERSATiONS WiT SHoRTY, THE PURPoSE oF THiS iS, WHEN SHE DoESNT SEE You oR oTHER FoLKS WHo NoRMALLY ASSoCiATE YoU WiT HER DoNT SEE U, THEY START To ASK QUESTiONS, AND WHo ARE THEY GoNNA ASK.....HER, BESidES THE FACT THAT SHE ALREADY GoNNA BE THiNKiN ABoUT You CUZ YoU SEEM To BE MoVinG on, iTS GoNNA DRivE THAT BiTCH CRAZY To HAVE To HEAR ABoUT You FRoM EVERYBoDY ELSE.You JUST GoTTA TRUST ME.i KNoW THESE NY CHiCKS.

i BEEN GOiN THRoUGH THE SAME SiTUATiON SinCE NoVEMBER WiT MY EX, ME AND SHoRTY iS CoOL NoW AND WE Do TALK BUT itS LikE oNCE A MoNTH oR So, MAYBE LoNGER THAN THAT BUT THATS oN ME, CUZ i CoULD CALL THis CHicK EVERYDAY BUT i AinT ABoUT To PLAY MYSELF AND YoU SHoULDNT EiTHER, GiVE SHoRTY SoME TiME oFF AND SHELL START CALLiN You.

BTW - WHAT PART oF NEW YoRK ARE YoU FRoM, ANYWAY AND HoW oLD ARE YoU.
 

Ash Holmz

The Bed-Stuy Fly Guy
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 207
heres what one of my boys did in college no lie ... he took one of those big ass gatorade jugs... evrytime he had to take a piss for like a 2 weeks he took it in there when it was full he poured it along the ground so it ran under her door and completely flooded her room!! that shit is fucked up there was nasty old piss all over her room.. he ended up gettin arrested for it though cuz someone saw him and reported him though so have a lookout man or something lmao
 

orpheus

Cook Classics
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 39
yo i already did one of those things, but she was down with it. it was crazy man!! but for real, i was thinking about smearin her room in shit... that piss is real fucked up. mad funny tho. what's the police report say for that shit? arrested for flood damage or some shit? hahaha. i like it. that's some dedication too. 2 weeks pissin in a gatorade bottle. that's some piss with intent to distribute right there

yo guevara, the shit's a little more complicated than that i think. we've been thru it all like ten times already, and my school is maaaad small out in cali so i pretty much can't help seein her all over the place. i already ignored her for 2 months last fall but then she finally came talkin to me and i ended up fuckin her and the shit started all over again. so i think the best thing would be if i didn't have to see her anywhere, but oh well. i think i may just have to get with one of her girls. i got the perfect one in mind too. we call her drunk ann, it'd almost be too easy. oh, and i'm almost 21 livin in tribeca
 

orpheus

Cook Classics
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 39
ima video tape that shit too. oh god, that'd be a dope tape to have -- fuckin her best friend. yall ever seen that mastercard spoof where that kid tapes himself fuckin his x girl and at the end it says some shit like "revenge on you x girl: priceless". my shit'd be even better than that with her friend. i could mix in clips of my x lookin all distraught about some shit and layer in some of her vocals sayin shit about how she hates/loves me while i'm gettin with her friend. PRICELESS. anybody wanna produce the soundtrack? it's gonna be a blockbuster
 

Cold Truth

IllMuzik Moderator
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 25
i agree with city-

HOWEVER- eff all that his and goodbyes nonsense... nothing beats a cold shoulder. make her invisible to you completely invisible. she isnt even there. this is the BEST revenge, at least for me it has been. works like a charm. i've had enough female drama to know!

there is nothing that eats at a woman than to know that you aint sweatin her anymore, and making yourself oblivious to her is the exclamtion point on that...

so youre in school in cali?
 

orpheus

Cook Classics
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 39
yeah its dope out there, weather wise at least. its no nyc tho. i go to school with this kid who just graduated named tunji -- part of this group called Inverse. he's pretty ill. don't know if he's got any shit online or what be i know he's got a cd out. everybody should try to check him out. he's got some serious mic skills
 

benny beatz

ILLIEN
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 36
yeah, by wasting your time thinking about how your gonna get back at her she already won man... u obviously still care about her if u wanna fuck her over... "theres a thin line between love and hate"

i guess the cold shoulder approach is alright... but whateva... u still hopin she comes back to you in the back of your mind... so she still got u...

one of my homeboys bought a cake, went to his ex girl's place of employment (arby's), waited for her to get into her car, and mashed her in the face with the cake... he also ended up gettin arrested... I think the judge prolly just laughed when he saw the charges...

I really can't get into the details... but I recently caught some real serious charges for some shit I did cuz a bitch had my head pretty fucked up...

So my advice, whatever you do, don't do anything you can get arrested for. It can be a major hassle. Fucking her friend is a very good idea...
 

Guevara

BETTER THAN YESTERDAY
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 34
DAMN i THoUGHT THiS WAS SoME HiGH SCHoOL SHiT...LOL

MAN iM ALL ABoUT UNNECESSARY ViOLENCE BUT AinT No BiTCH WoRTH ADDiNG STUPiD SHiT MY PoLicE RECoRD.

MAYBE iM THE oNLY oNE WHo CoULDNT STAND HiS GiRLS FUCKiN FRiENDS.
 

Fade

The Beat Strangler
Administrator
illest o.g.
Seriously though, I think ignoring is the best way. It happened to me in the past where there was a breakup and all I did was ignore her and let everything be. It drove her nuts. Why waste all your time in that shit? You're just going to end up more stressed out in the end anyway. For me, when shit like that happens I'm just like, "Fuck it, and fuck you 'cause I got more important shit to worry about". :)
 

RigorMortis

Army Of Darkness
ill o.g.
When i get into shit like this it really irritates me, but do nothing, nothing at all. Get over friendly towards her, if you go on a vacation or out of town always sent a postcard to her. Smile at her everytime you see her, and say she looks good. When you meet friends of her tell them she is the best girl you ever met and she is a miracle to the world. Keep on doing this, dont give up, giving up is for loser stick with the plan. Be friendly and praise her. In the meanwhile time passes and in that time she thinks you are sick fuck for being sickly friendly with her it will make her shit out the positive energy you are sending. But dont fuck her in that time dont get involved again. When 2 or 3 years have passed it is time to strike. Never and i mean never take revenge immediately in cases like this. She must never know the revenge came from you. Maybe suspect but not more than that.

Since you have had a relationship with her you know a lot of her, use it to your advantage and be reckless. If you arent smart enough to come up shit with what you know of her we have to go, straight blunt in general. Go to a slaughterhouse and get a bucket of blood, say you are studying biology and your professor asked you to get it for an experiment, those guys will give it to you, take a bucket with you. Also ask for disposal meat and guts. And try to get some animal heads too while you are at it.

Now the following needs to be done, find out what day she isnt at home. Or if she is as home be sure she sleeps and no one will notice you. Go to her place and in case of a garden take a shovel with you. Bury the animal heads in her garden at different places and try to bury it real nice.

When that is finished take out your animal blood and a brush or something, and paint the windows with blood and the front door. Also paint some words on her place with profanity and threats. Like "I will kill you bitch!", i am sure you will be creative enough to come up with some sick shit to write down.
Next step put some guts through her postal thingy and scatter guts around in the front of her door.
These things should be done at night, and dont get anyone to stay on watch out, they will betray you later on or when they get drunk. Plan it carefully and dont get caught. Kinda hard to explain.

The finishing step, you still got a lot of disposal meat at your hands, leave it a couple of days to rot and get some starting maggots up in there. Put that heap of misery in a good box, like real good so no one will smel what is in it. Isolate that shit. Go out of town for a day and send that box to her adress. DONT PUT YOUR OWN ADRESS ON THAT BOX or YOUR NAME. She will freak out when she gets that box. Repeat the box thing for the next couple of years and when she gets a new friend also sent one to his place heheheh.

When you hear about this from her or from friends, act shocked. Say she should stay a couple of days with you and say there might be a lunatic out there trying to kill her., hehe. Offer to stay a couple of times at her place. Warn her she should get new locks, and a gun or something and say she shouldt go out alone late...

Goodluck hope you will use this one.
 

Guevara

BETTER THAN YESTERDAY
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 34
RigorMortis said:
When i get into shit like this it really irritates me, but do nothing, nothing at all. Get over friendly towards her, if you go on a vacation or out of town always sent a postcard to her. Smile at her everytime you see her, and say she looks good. When you meet friends of her tell them she is the best girl you ever met and she is a miracle to the world. Keep on doing this, dont give up, giving up is for loser stick with the plan. Be friendly and praise her. In the meanwhile time passes and in that time she thinks you are sick fuck for being sickly friendly with her it will make her shit out the positive energy you are sending. But dont fuck her in that time dont get involved again. When 2 or 3 years have passed it is time to strike. Never and i mean never take revenge immediately in cases like this. She must never know the revenge came from you. Maybe suspect but not more than that.

Since you have had a relationship with her you know a lot of her, use it to your advantage and be reckless. If you arent smart enough to come up shit with what you know of her we have to go, straight blunt in general. Go to a slaughterhouse and get a bucket of blood, say you are studying biology and your professor asked you to get it for an experiment, those guys will give it to you, take a bucket with you. Also ask for disposal meat and guts. And try to get some animal heads too while you are at it.

Now the following needs to be done, find out what day she isnt at home. Or if she is as home be sure she sleeps and no one will notice you. Go to her place and in case of a garden take a shovel with you. Bury the animal heads in her garden at different places and try to bury it real nice.

When that is finished take out your animal blood and a brush or something, and paint the windows with blood and the front door. Also paint some words on her place with profanity and threats. Like "I will kill you bitch!", i am sure you will be creative enough to come up with some sick shit to write down.
Next step put some guts through her postal thingy and scatter guts around in the front of her door.
These things should be done at night, and dont get anyone to stay on watch out, they will betray you later on or when they get drunk. Plan it carefully and dont get caught. Kinda hard to explain.

The finishing step, you still got a lot of disposal meat at your hands, leave it a couple of days to rot and get some starting maggots up in there. Put that heap of misery in a good box, like real good so no one will smel what is in it. Isolate that shit. Go out of town for a day and send that box to her adress. DONT PUT YOUR OWN ADRESS ON THAT BOX or YOUR NAME. She will freak out when she gets that box. Repeat the box thing for the next couple of years and when she gets a new friend also sent one to his place heheheh.

When you hear about this from her or from friends, act shocked. Say she should stay a couple of days with you and say there might be a lunatic out there trying to kill her., hehe. Offer to stay a couple of times at her place. Warn her she should get new locks, and a gun or something and say she shouldt go out alone late...

Goodluck hope you will use this one.

RiG, YoU MY FRiEND ARE oNE SiCK iNDiViDUAL.....BUT ALL oF THAT WAS VERY ENTERTAiNiNG.
THATS oNE oF THEM PLANS THAT YoU MAKE CUZ YoURE BEYoND UPSET, BUT THEN A YEAR iNTo iT YoU REALizE HoW iNSANE THAT iDEA ACTUALLY iS So U GiVE UP.

ACTUALLY i HoPE YoU USE THiS oNE ToO

.....oR You CoULD JUST SHoW HER THiS THREAD AND LET HER SEE HoW MANY PEoPLE ARE PLoTTiNG oN HER, THAT WoULD FREAK HER oUT.CiTY
 

Ash Holmz

The Bed-Stuy Fly Guy
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 207
orpheus said:
yo i already did one of those things, but she was down with it. it was crazy man!! but for real, i was thinking about smearin her room in shit... that piss is real fucked up. mad funny tho. what's the police report say for that shit? arrested for flood damage or some shit? hahaha. i like it. that's some dedication too. 2 weeks pissin in a gatorade bottle. that's some piss with intent to distribute right there

yo guevara, the shit's a little more complicated than that i think. we've been thru it all like ten times already, and my school is maaaad small out in cali so i pretty much can't help seein her all over the place. i already ignored her for 2 months last fall but then she finally came talkin to me and i ended up fuckin her and the shit started all over again. so i think the best thing would be if i didn't have to see her anywhere, but oh well. i think i may just have to get with one of her girls. i got the perfect one in mind too. we call her drunk ann, it'd almost be too easy. oh, and i'm almost 21 livin in tribeca

yeah man he caught some weak charges but he caught alot of them ... lol . defacing property..tresspassing... disturbing the peace..property damage...litering.. and some sanitary violation shit among other charges i cant think of at the moment.. somehow through the whole process he manged to set of the fire alram too so he got in trouble for that too.... his court date is in a few days actually.... when i say gatorade jug im talking about the ones that nfl players pour on their coaches when they win the superbowl ..lol.. shit had mad piss in it lol
 
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