"Mastered by Muppets": funny as hell!

[God]

If you read my frustrations with mastering in Illmuzik's lab section... this is some funny stuff on the same subject. In case you didn't know - Metallica's new album "Death Magnetic" was mastered so loud that you can audibly hear clipping on the new CD. The album was produced by Rick Rubin and it's full evidence of the "loudness wars."

Enjoy...

The lyrics kick in at 1:01 on the YouTube video.



MASTERED BY MUPPETS

End of session day, Rubin works away:
I'm your source of song-destruction
Tunes that hurt you ear, poor sound engineer
Leaving spikes on my instruction
Trust me you will see
Volume's all you need
Dedicated to
How I'll limit you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just peaking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin's my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard

Bastard

Need to mix this way, never you dismay
"Loud" makes death magnetic clearer
Gain monopoly, ritual Waves L3
Squash your tracks til it's severe
Gate and you will see
More and more dB
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Compressing faster
Limit your Master
Your albums sell faster
With a loud Master
Master

Mastered by muppets, brickwalling your dreams
Clipping, distorting and smashing extremes
Ruined by me, you can't hear a thing…
Just peaking snares, and auto-tuned screams
Mastered
Mastered
Rubin's my name, and I'll hear you scream
Bastard

Bastard

Master, Master, where's the version I've been after?
Bearded, Bastard, you promised only lies
Blaster, Blaster, recorded on a ghetto blaster?
Laughter, laughter, laughing at those highs
Peak to me!


Lars ain't worth all that – "natural" kick and hats
Kirk adds wah without a reason
Never ending phrase, Jaymz goes on for days
Rob, your shirt is out of season…
I'll record til 5 (then)
I will help you buy
Sandals that suit you
Now you look cool too

 

[Cell 2Dee]

Can someone explain to me what the 'Loudness War' is? I've seen it mentioned a few times, notably in your posts (God), but I'm not sure what is meant by the term?

 

[Quality]

Basically artists are trying to be louder and louder than each other, with the use of over-compression.

Some artists think the louder their music sounds, the better it sounds. This results in the music being so loud it begins to clip and such. Thats pretty much the basic outline.

I'ma have to check that muppets video out in a few minutes, got some chicken nuggets and fries going in the oven hmmm.

 

[God]

Can someone explain to me what the 'Loudness War' is? I've seen it mentioned a few times, notably in your posts (God), but I'm not sure what is meant by the term?

Hi Cell,

Good question! Most people outside the music biz are unaware of the 'loudness war." Below is some great info explaining the loudness war:


YouTube video




Wikipedia page: Loudness war

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loudness_war

 

[Elgen]

Definitely got a kick out of that.

 

[Cell 2Dee]

Hi Cell,

Good question! Most people outside the music biz are unaware of the 'loudness war." Below is some great info explaining the loudness war:


YouTube video

YouTube - The Loudness War


Wikipedia page: Loudness war

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loudness_war

That's crazy. Like the video says, at the end of it all, the person with the volume control is the listener. So the producers are basically picking volume over quality? You can definitely tell the difference on the drums in the video.

 

[The Arkitekt]

"Compressing fasterrrrrr!!!"


LOL

 

[Shonsteez]

That made my day GOD. haha

 

[Sucio]

That does sound like shit....


I honestly had to turn down the volume..

 

[Chrono]

damn G, that was dope as hell

 

[Relic]

lol, great video.....Sounds like shit. lol

 

[Formant024]

hahaha, brilliant God gets +1