Tear this apart for me please....

  • warzone (nov 5-9) signup begins in...
It's a loop. It's long. My apologies. I really want to get input on the construction aspects of this four bar. Is it too busy? Is the foundation strong? Thanks! Simple 4 chord progression. My bad...it here now

 
Last edited:

Iron Keys

ILLIEN MBAPPÉ
ill o.g.
Battle Points: 645
It's a loop. It's long. My apologies. I really want to get input on the construction aspects of this four bar. Is it too busy? Is the foundation strong? Thanks! Simple 4 chord progression. My bad...it here now


Nice piece of music, not 'hip-hop' though, if you was aiming for that.

I think until the 23sec mark, the bass was a little too droney, just kind of drags, didn't feel like it had any real pull or movement to it. And kind of really sucked the life out of the music (until the rest came in). Maybe a synth bass that swells or has opening/closing/changing filters would help carry it.

That kick, excusé moi francais... is weak as fuck. Has no punch or weight to it, and it gets absolutely lost in the mix when its skin textures get masked by the rest of the frequencies in that 1-4k range. --- there are many ways to resolve this, but the first and most important here, would be to start with a better kick.

Your musical quality is pretty decent what I've noticed off your two songs, once you get a better handle on the sonic qualities, you'll have some really solid stuff. Keep at it, we'll help build you up.
 
I agree with what @Iron Keys said, the parts work together, just not mixed the way the are, its all become a thin muddy mess. Try panning some of the instruments and get them to play off of each other between left and right. Look into side chaining your kick to your bass, look it up on youtube, watch a few videos until you understand the process, it will allow your kicks space from being masked out by the bassline and is an essential tool in making hip hop.
Also, go through every track on the daw and trim off unwanted hi and low frequencies from each instrument, and make sure none of the levels are clipping inside the daw, and especially the master bus. Aim for -6db peak on the master bus to leave headroom for the mastering plugins. Trimming frequencies will take away the muddiness as they accumulate and suck all the life out of your mix taking up headroom which needs to be used to get a good balanced loudness.
 

BiggChev

ILLIEN
Battle Points: 11
Only because you asked...

...please don't take any of this personally and appreciate these notes are purely my opinion and are not gospel.

The mix needs work. The intro synths sounds like they might be clipping/distorting. The two lines are fighting for space. May be worth experimenting with panning and stereo imaging. Give them their own space in the mix. Could be a character of the synth sound, but I would try to tame it.

Second, the snare is far too loud. Sharpening the attack with a transient master and having the reverb on send channel may help with space and volume. You'll get crack and space without having to push the signal too hard.

Bass could serve to be a bit beefier and rounder. Try doubling it with a sub-synth bass to get the depth without losing the timbre of the instrument you chose. It sounds fairly centred in the mix where it should be, there's just not enough gravity to it.

The synth line that comes in around 0:23 is nice, but gets obnoxious...quickly. May be worth adjusting the sustain/decay on the it to give it place to breathe. It's clearly the "main" instrument/line in the piece so sitting centre of the mix is smart. This extends from my point of the first two synths being spread out across the stereo spectrum.

With respect to the synths as a whole, some automation would serve to give some bounce, rhythm and organic moving elements. It could be as simple as having an envelope or LFO slightly modulate a filter cutoff. Have the Amp of the Synths side-chained to your drum elements. Even just playing with the volume automation could help to breathe some life into it.

Overall, interesting loop. I get a CHVRCHES and Naked and Famous type of vibe from it. Mid 2010's electronica. The main thing here is pulling out some more character and organic feel from the synths, giving each element its space to shine (remember, an instrument can shine by being supportive - not necessarily a lead!). Instrument selection is also important. Personally, I would have gone with a 909 type of drum palette versus acoustic reverb drums.

Lastly, and I'm just extrapolating from the loop. There are a LOT of notes going on. They are interesting and there's good music in there. If/when you re-work and expand this into a full song, play up the harmony layers, and use some longer sustained notes/chords. I can imagine a breakdown where you strip back the dynamics, have some shimmery/modulating synth pads that build back into the bouncy lead line.

Looking forward to hearing the finished product!
 
Top