Real industry convo (how the fuck do we get another hit?)

[God]

OK, I've changed the names of some cats in this convo, but if you wanna get a glimpse into how the fuck some cats in the industry think, here's a good example. Funny too.
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I check my BB - I don't have an appointment until 2 with some shithead. So I tell my assistants that we're going on a field trip (one of 'em is new, have to break him in.) My main assistant who runs my fucking life is a female, she knows me like she probably shouldn't.

"Field trip to check out a band" means lunch at my favorite strip club. Time to break the new cat in. I PIN a couple other homies on their BBs and they're down. I take my asses (assts.) and have my female ass drive us to the strip club.

My homies are there at a table, some come later, whatever. One already provided money for social lubrication with the strippers. So they danced around our dumbasses as we sat down for the following convo:

JIM (A&R idiot): WTF am I going to do (God)... we need something like a Katy Perry - fucking hit. She's 6 weeks at the fucking top of the billboard. I need that shit so we don't write off...

DICK (Rep): Get a fucking song about making out with girls? Girl on girl shit? That's already done, dude, we need something else.

EGOHOMIE (A&R): Something to push the envelope. We need to get Max (Martin) to do some shit like that.

ALLIE (hot rep): What, like you'll call the Matrix in and say: "I need a lesbian coke-snorting song" and it better be catchy. Or you'll die!

My FEMALE ASST.: Guys, really - order.

(voice of reason)

EGOHOMIE (whispers in my ear): Why did you bring your assistants.

ME: I'm hands on (real name). These kids will be running this shit.

EGOHOMIE: Shit. You're still a fucking kid, you just (he goes on to berate me.)

ME: Cute. Now what the fuck are you going to do with your (a bad monetary situation)? You're bleeding money, motherfucker.

Stripper sticks tits in my face. Puts her hand on my cock.

ME: Not yet, hun. I can't eat with a hard on.

ALLIE: Well, we need to have a fucking song that will shock the shit out of people.

DICK: Like what? A fucking song about dudes fucking dudes in the ass.

EGOHOMIE: That's gay.

ME: Dude, you're actually gay - like - you know that.

EGOHOMIE: Right, and I can say it.

ME: How about a song about smoking weed. That shit always works.

ALLIE: Nah. It doesn't hit (my artists') demo.

ME: Always thinking about yourself.

Then we started drinking tequila and DICK bought ALLIE a lap dance. I then bought my new assistant a lap dance and my female assistant declined, but did touch the tits of the stripper to feel her "fake boob."

Then it dawned on me.

THIS is the fucking problem. This LIFESTYLE is the fucking problem. The world is CHANGING and we're still acting like it's 2000.

Can't do that. I told my asst. to remind me that I do not want to go to strip clubs for lunch. We were going to get shit to be MORE profitable. We were going to kick MORE ass.

Found a promising MySpace act forwarded to me by her (bless her heart.) I love it - they have a thousand plays, they don't even know I'm looking at them.

THIS is what the internet is about. THIS is what new music is about. FUCK THE OLD system.

But I will still use my expense account (which is an old system way of doing things.)

Whew. Back at it...

 

[Vice]

LOL... good read, it all played out like a movie in my head as i was reading.

interesting how this just dawned on you like a new idea though..... when it's been right in front of you the whole time. I'm glad you came to that conclusion even though I would love to hear a catchy "lesbian coke-snorting" song.

 

[God]

You get caught up in shit, that's how you don't see it - you feel "privileged" and "better" than the people supposedly "below" you. Strip clubs for lunch become the norm. Snorting rails off the flat bellies of wanna-be actresses ("I can make you famous...") become the norm.

Sooner or later you lose your sense of reality. VIP at some bullshit club, just roll through with your assistants and a wannabe actress. It's sad, in retrospect. But people place value on that.

It's pure bullshit, money is what counts. All this crap strokes the ego. The bullshit stops now.

 

[2GooD Productions]

The talk of controversy in the convo surprises me.
Hiphop cannot get anymore controversial, the whole controversy selling angle has been arsefucked into submission.
The fact that controversy sells is what IMO has caused the decline in standards, ie "WHO gives a fuck what they are saying?, as long as they are controversial"
So here hiphop is, its become a laughing stock to any self respecting hiphop fan.
All controversy and no substance. The people cannot be shocked anymore, after being bombarded with shock and awe for so long they have become immune to it.
The whole controversy angle needs to be laid to rest.
But take away the controversy and what is left?
Thats the big question.
The only other thing that really shifts copies in hiphop is beef.

 

[God]

The conversation was actually about pop music - like Katy Perry. The convo was about an artist that didn't have a solid hit on their release. A song that pisses off conservative parents = good sales.

Agree with the hip-hop thing. Thank Suge and Puffy for playing that out. 50 Cent also mastered it to the point of Joel Schumacher's Batman movie mockery. Good to see the Batman franchise is back on its feet after the late 90s debacles.

2good, however, I believe you are again acting a little moral and fail to see that teens thrive off controversy.

Controversy = publicity = more sales for a product.

If the product is good, it will survive after its peak initial release date.

If not, well, the controversy helped the bottom line of the record company (and the artist.)

 

[2GooD Productions]

Even in pop music right now, the most controversial thing in it IMO is Amy Winehouse, she is here in the uk anyway. Shes never out of the papers. I find that a real shame, because she has been blessed with an amazing voice. I would have hoped that that would have been enough but yet she is the current UK media whore.
I fear she is going to kill herself soon, and if not herself then her talent.
I hate the industry sometimes, I hate it a lot right now. I know controversy sells, it always has done. But in the end you run out of anything that shocks anyone anymore. The people are becoming numb to the shock factor in the world, in the end you will have a running man scenario, where rappers are put into a ring with a weapon each and the last one alive is the winner. I bet that would sell shitloads.

I also think that feeding kids a diet of controversy no matter how much it sells, its killing them from the inside.
Look at the state of our kids, its the forcefed lifestyles of the fake famous people thats all they have for inspiration.
If the trend contiues its just going to continue to decline and kids(our inheritors) will decline further.
Society is already going down the shitter, should we keep flushing with more controversy?
Whats more important our future or the money?
Its only the shortsighted money chasers that would think the latter.

 

[StressWon]

Thats the problem with, "The next big thing",,,,people so busy tryin to find it when you can just create it.

 

[Relic]

How about something Positive?? That would be a shock and something new in music.

Oh and great read, you can obviously do a book about shit if you ever decide to leave music.

 

[Sucio]

Positivity isn't controversial...

Teens/Kids who buy albums don't wanna hear about positive things...

They want to hear about getting high and banging broads...lampin in a chevy on 26's...because that's FUN...and kids have something cool to shoot for...

 

[N.Y.S.O.M.]

How about something Positive?? That would be a shock and something new in music.

Oh and great read, you can obviously do a book about shit if you ever decide to leave music.

U right relic talk about positive motives in life a kid makin it from the hood to college n being somebody the R&B game is already set Neyo got that on lock but hiphop or shyt rap about politics or something kids always wanna hear that bang bang shoot em up shyt. thats wack now dudes now-a-days is workin gettin money the right way that hustling shyt is old n wack