Nice flow. I don't know how you're recording the vocals but I would say they need to be mixed better. Maybe it's the type of reverb that's on it.
As for the flow, I would say work on breath control. I noticed you gasping quite a bit between lines. That's normal, but as long as it's under control. Most guys don't realize it, but it's important. Just Google something like "breath control for vocalist" or singer, for example.